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Sunday, March 17, 2024

Top 10 fictional characters I think DON’T take drugs, and why - By Holden Kodish

  1. Mr. Krabs, from Spongebob: He’s too focused on making money to ever want to spend it on an 8-ball
  2. Professor Utonium from the Powerpuff girls: Chemical X was secretly an enhanced form of crack, and having three crack babies and no baby momma means he probably doesn’t want to try it
  3. Arthur, from Arthur: He’s like 8 years old. Who’s giving a 8-year-old Lean?
  4. Arthur, from Arthur Christmas: He lives in the North Pole. You can’t grow weed up there
  5. Bandit, from Bluey: He probably used to smoke weed, but once the girls were born, he knew it was time to grow up.
  6. Magikarp, from Pokemon. He’s a fish. Fish can’t do drugs, stupid.
  7. Urkel, from Family Matters: He doesn’t because everyone thinks he’s an undercover fed. Stefan Urqulle definitely gets schwasty on the weekends though.
  8. Those little football things from NFL Rush Zone: What were those things? Were they mascots? Living beings? Homunculi? Either way, PED’s are banned by the NFL, so no drugs for them.
  9. C3PO. Dude’s a bitch, for real. R2 and BB-8 definitely get high off electricity, but C3PO is like “No, good sir. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the maker.” What a loser
  10. And finally, number 10… Bill Clinton. He may have smoked weed, but he did not inhale.

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