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Friday, November 15, 2024

Most Embarrassing Things to Do in Public - By: Joe Finkel

Most Embarrassing Things to Do in 
Public

  1. Falling - Taking a tumble is a traumatic experience as it is, but when faced with the scrutiny of the public eye, no one can come out unscathed. You cannot under any circumstances cry. Just don't even think about it. If your hat or accessories fall off -1 point, if your papers go flying everywhere, you may be living in a movie but also -10 points. If you don't get up after 10 seconds people have full reign to walk over you also. 
  2. Eating a banana - Bruh, you know why. 
  3. riding a unicycle - I have only seen this one or two times in my life, but if you are riding a unicycle as a serious method of transportation, you are going to make it in this life. Choosing the most uncomfortable vehicle in the universe has to be embarrassing but I honestly don't think these people feel any shame. I also think they won the game of life, comfort is the death of man. 
  4. wearing a helmet as a kid - I know I know, this is super important, I would wear a helmet usually when forced to but for some weird reason, it was almost considered too safe to wear a helmet. As a kid you don't take many risks, most things are a safe bet for you, but riding a bike was a part of the day that was filled with adventure. It just didn't seem like the logical thing to do. Probably why you have to be a certain age to vote.
  5. Sunglasses - They aren't even real
  6. Turning around when on a destination-less walk, pretending to take your phone out and checking the directions as if you went the wrong way. 
  7. Going for a fist bump to someone and getting curved, hand shake also applies, this is an act of accidental disrespect for the most part, but nevertheless an embarrassing occurrence. 
  8. Forgetting to take your items after paying at the cash register at a CVS or whatnot and having them have to remind you. 
  9. Peeing, pooping, or sharting your pants. But as Billy Madison said "You ain't cool unless you pee your pants" Has to be a top tier embarrassing moment but if you experience it you are basically on the fast track to never giving a piss (literally) about anything again. Nothing will be able to embarass you. Oh, you think public speaking made you nervous? you worried you'll say the wrong thing? now you'll know you can literally pee/poop your pants in this world (the MOST unconventional thing to do) and no one will care. I have close personal friends who forgot I did that one time! Still a goal of mine is to do it on stage in front of people. Well maybe at my first stand up set or something. 
  10. Falling asleep - Falling asleep on the train on someones shoulder, or on the plane, especially as a dude is INSANE! It happens, if it is a close friend no worries at all, but a stranger?! That's Crazy. Do not let this ever happen to you. YOU WILL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN. This actually may be worse than all the other things on this list. 
  11. using an umbrella - just ridiculous, looking. But necessary. Especially unfolding an umbrella in the middle of a crowded street. Using it just looks like you're marry poppins, there really is no winning while using one of these. 
  12. Falling asleep first at a sleepover. This is a certified and legal document approving your friend group to prank this individual, put all sorts of random items on top of them, whatever they deem a fit punishment for the crime. This will hold up in court. You fall asleep first and there is no guarantee you wake up. 

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Most Embarrassing Things to Do in Public - By: Joe Finkel

Most Embarrassing Things to Do in  Public Falling - Taking a tumble is a traumatic experience as it is, but when faced with the scrutiny of...