Top 10 Decades I Should Have Lived In - By Holden Kodish

Top 10 Decades I Should Have Lived In

1. The 70s

   Disco, roller-skating, and Nixon. What’s not to love about one of America’s high points? Wait, what’s happening in Vietnam?

2. The 40s

   I’m just saying, if I was alive then, and it was me, Hitler wouldn’t have been a problem. That scene in Inglorious Basterds would have been a wonderful movie experience compared to what I’d do to him.

3. The 1880s

   I wanna be a cowboy, baaaaby. Bang bang!

4. The 1090s

   I could have participated in the one crusade that actually, you know, worked, and I’d be pardoned from all sins, past, present, and future. Brothels, here I come!

5. The 2150s

   Look, someone is going to have to tell President Beegleborp that his plan to keep illegal aliens out isn’t going to work. You can’t build a wall around the solar system! We don’t have the resources, Beegleborp!

6. Year 0

   I’d probably just tell Jesus about, like, gay people and the iPhone. See what he does with that.

7. The 20s BC

   I think it’s only fair that if I include WWII, then I should also include the Roman Empire. As we all know, those are the only two periods in history.

8. 2001

   Yes, I was technically a baby at the time. But, as an adult, I can warn George Bush about the most important event of the 21st century: the closing of Club Penguin in 2017. He could probably stop it.

9. 6000 BC

   If I brought a flip lighter and a bag of apple seeds, I would be a god. Worship me, oh lowly beings, for I bring fire and food wherever I go.

10. The Dawn of Time

    I’d go back and… I don’t know, make all humans magenta? Stop them from canceling Dan Vs.? Make the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles real? I don’t know, I’ll figure it out when it happens.